This photo is probably my favorite among all the ones I took during my brief stay in Paris for fashion week.
It’s not one of the best I took, technically speaking. The girl is not one of the most stylish I’ve seen there, and looks really “off duty” (with combat flats at her feet and probably her heels in the sack ;-) ). There are no covetable accessories to see, no celeb to spot.
But that’s why I love it so much, because this photo is just like me.
I’m not the coolest blogger, I’m not the fashionista that owns tons of bags and shoes that are the dream of every girl on the planet, I’m not a perfect woman.
I’m a little blurried like that photo, I’m a pair of flats instead of 12 cm heels but my love for fashion is like the red, warm beautiful light of the Tuileries in an October sunset and the confident and delicate stroll of a girl in her red dress.
Fashion week changed me a lot, or at least changed a lot the feelings I have towards fashion.
First: if possible, I love it even more. Second: I found my place there, and my confidence.
I was with my sister in Rue Saint Honoré in a very happy moment: we just left the crazy fashion week stage, I was all very excited by the people and the atmosphere, and we were heading for dinner at the Mosque (you seriously have to go there).
We stopped in a small shop to buy liters of water (it was soooo hot!) and all around us it was packed with people working in the fashion business and models off duty that were heading to their evening life after the fashion day.
Paris moments
In that moment I saw this very very beautiful and cool Japanese girl and told my sister “Look at that girl!!”. My sister told me “would you like to be like her?”.
“No” I answered.
“No??” my sister seemed pretty shocked, she was too used to hear the typical “ooooh I want to be thinner” “ohhh I want to be cooler” “oooohh I want to be like that girl” from me.
I explained her that I understood, in my first day of Paris fashion week, that I didn’t want to be one of those girls (as I also often told you too in my posts, while whining that I wasn’t skinny/beautiful/cool enough for the fashion world).
“If I were her I couldn’t be the one that sees her beauty, that can draw it and photograph it and be inspired by it. I want to be the girl behind the lens and the brush, not in front of it. I love my talent and I like to be almost invisible while I spy the beauty of a dress or of the way of wearing it”
My (very beautiful) sister Marta
That was the moment in which all my fears of being inadequate in a sea of fashionistas and models disappeared, and I stopped to look at them like the kid that sees a giraffe for the first time. I found my place, a happy place in which I could finally see all the beauty of fashion without the fog of the fear to be “not enough”.
It was like all of the sudden the world of fashion was opening in front of my eyes in all its colors and shapes.
This is the first lesson I learned at fashion week, and there were many others (like that you don’t need to be a size 0 to be the coolest girl at a fashion show for example) but I’ll tell you about them in the next posts ;-)
And now it’s time for laundry (how very fashion of me) and then bed!
Kisses
Al
I just loved to read your posting!! And absolutely found myself, I’m going to write about it, too, hopefully soon (studying started and right now one eye coverd after a day at the eye clinic’s emergency *grr*). But I really see myself as the curious one behind the camera, I want to be there and see what’s going on, but never want to be one of that bloggers that seem only to go to show venues (=outside) to have their picture taken, isn’t that terribly boring?? And yes, I also think that I and my idea of fashion changed during this very short time. I’m wondering whether after a few more days I had become one of those aggressive photographers who push everyone out of their way ;P
Oh no, what happened to your eye?? I wear contact lenses and sometimes I have troubles too with stuff that stick in my eyes under the lens and so on… Have been to the clinic quite a few times and I hate it >.< I hope you will recover soon!
I think I’ll never become too aggressive as a photographer, I’m seriously too shy… But at least I started to ask people if I may take their pictures… It’s a start! :D
Many kisses
Thank you very much, I’m almost fine by now! :) Yepp, I simply wore soft contact lenses which I shouldn’t…
hehe, I think I will never be an aggressive photographer, as well, was just kidding, but at least I stopped constantly worrying that I might be in some important person’s way….
Um quite possibly my favorite post EVER!! Love it, love it, love it. Your words are so fluid, genuine, and true. Damn girl, you really did find your place and I’m right along there with you. I can play the role but that isn’t who I am nor who I want to be. I love fashion, I live for the creative inspiration it generates, but I don’t need to own every single must have thing (or any of it for that matter). My worth, my happiness comes from something much deeper than that. I value myself according to a whole other system; one that puts integrity on top, and hottest accessory on the bottom :)
Love you girl,
Meag xx
Oh Meag, how many times do I have to tell you that I LOVE you? :D
I totally second your feelings, and I think I have a clearer view on this matter now… I feel much better ;-)
I send you many many many kisses and hugs xxx
Oh and p.s. your sister IS incredibly beautiful :) Hi to Marta!
ahah I’ll tell her ;D
What a wonderful post… :)
Oh thank you so much Emily, really! :***
What a breathtakingly honest post! Sometimes you realise that being yourself is way cooler than trying to be someone else. Maybe you don’t see the person that I see, but you’re an amazing person – smart, so funny and just so lovely!! Finding one’s place is important – we all need to be comfortable in who we are.
How can I thank you Milla?
These are probably the sweetest words I’ve received in a long long time… Thank so so much for all the support, really
A kiss
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Such a beautiful post. With out a doubt from your epiphany so to speak your 1st lesson for PFW is a life lesson for us all. Thank You
Thank you for your sweet comment, I totally didn’t think I could give you something with my words but I’m very happy that I did :-)
Congrats on being part of Links a la Mode!
Best, Jenny
http://www.dresscodehighfashion.com/
You are fantastic! I swear, I could have written this post (though maybe not in such a genuine manner). I basically have the same fashion week experience. My first was Milan last season, and it made me love fashion even more, though I was expecting all kinds of inferiority complexes! After a long time, I felt like I fit in somewhere again. I went to NYC, Milan and Paris this season. Same feeling, only even more intense.
I can’t wait for your next posts. I’ve submitted this one to StumbleUpon so more people will read it!
Hi Eva! I already passed by your blog to thank you for your wonderful comment but I feel that I have to do it once more :D
Your words really made me happy!
(how lucky were you to be able to go to NYC, Milan and Paris fashion week?? I envy you! I would really like to attend the London one one day)
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Your beautiful acceptance of yourself is very inspiring. It was that little thing you read and remember after closing the blog tab. I’ll definitely will remember the thoughts and feelings you were talking about, it’s something to remember to try to live by.
Thank you so much Michal, this comment made me really happy. I’m very glad that you felt a message in my words, I didn’ know that it could be like that when I wrote the post but I’m full of joy if I managed to actually transmit my feelings to you :-)
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What a beautiful post, Al! Congrats on being picked by IFB, two times in a row! Your words ring so true to me. I have such a hard time not comparing myself to those ultra chic girls and wanting the things that they have. I commend you for finding your place in all the glamour at Paris Fashion Week, no less. =) Thanks for being an inspiration!
~Joanna
Thank you Joanna!! <3
I'm sure that if you spend enough time among those girls you will have the same opinion too in the end ;-)
Your post, couldn’t be more perfect. That’s exactly how I’ve come to feel while studying, observing, and commenting on fashion. I can’t wait to see what else you’ve picked up from fashion week.
Oh thank you so much Rachel! And I’m very happy that this is the kind of attitude that you got too from a closer approach to fashion :-)
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Great post! I also feel the same way. I just want to observe how the fashion goes. :) I love your article.
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